Big Fat Sigh

I can tell I'm feeling very sarcastic right now, so either it's perfect timing to write a post, or a horrible time.  I'm leaning toward perfect...because I'm going to keep writing.

We just got home from a playgroup with some other moms from my MOPS group.  It would have been totally fun for me, had I not taken my child(ren) with me.  But then it's not really a playgroup is it?

Do you ever look at a mom and think "Man, she really has it all together"?  Well, I am totally that mom.  That mom who has it all together, I mean.  Matteo was not absolute NIGHTMARE at the playgroup this morning.  He was not running a muck, he was not screaming, he was not whining, he was not getting into ever little thing that he shouldn't have been getting into.  He listened to everything I said and obeyed my every word.

Just kidding.

He was a mess and I finally gave up and we left after about an hour.

Times like these are very discouraging to me.  What's super awesome though, is he is an angel as soon as we get in the car and also a perfect little darling when we get home.  I mean, I'll take the good behavior but why can't he display that when we are with friends?  It's like, I'm delighted he behaves at church and mdo but he can be such a little...misbehave-er...with me. (Misbehave-er is a word).

Ugh.

Discouraged.  

I typically like to finish my posts on an "up" note but my little mister has made it hard for me.  But here goes.

It's only a stage.  It's a season of life. Matteo, though strong-willed, is a very good child.  He has a sweet heart and a love for others especially for me, his "Ma".  He loves to hug and kiss and laugh.  I can't get these days back so I shouldn't wish them away. One day, when I'm old and gray (ok, maybe not old and gray, but who knows) I will miss him because he is all grown up and married with kids of his own.  (crazy thought, right?). One day I won't be listening to the whining but I also won't get to sit him in my lap and kiss his sweet little lips and watch movies and play with toy dinosaurs.  One day, I won't hear all the crying but I won't get to play with his hair.  One day, I won't be constantly disciplining him but I won't get to tickle him and play row-row-row your boat.  With the challenging stuff goes the fun stuff as he grows up, so like anything in life I must take the hard with the cherishable.  I will miss a lot of things.  The growling, his sweet little toes.  I hope he always says "I love you" but I love the way he says it now "I you" and sometimes "Hi, youuu" or if you are leaving "Bye you!" (Bye, I love you).  Last night I whispered to him with our faces up close to each other "I love you" and he whispered back "I you" then turned to Sergio and whispered "I you".

Less discouraged.

"I you Matteo."