I'm not the authority on motherhood but I wanted to share some things that I have learned
through my own experiences about being a mom, especially a mom to little kids, because that's what I know.
1.
Everything is a season. When times are hard, whether it's a
long afternoon or the
entire toddler years, it is a season. It will pass.
We will make it through! So we can wish time away or just dig in and live life. Sometimes wishing time away seems easier but I know in my heart I should try to enjoy where I am, and give the whole "being content" thing a chance. I'm still working on that one.
2.
We must let go of our ridiculous expectations of ourselves (and probably of others too). We don't have to "do all" and "be all". I don't think I'm too hard on myself but those close to me are always telling me I am. We need to let go of our pride with the way we PLAN to do things. Like, if you feel you must breast feed exclusively but then the baby for whatever reason doesn't do well with breastfeeding, you're going to have to supplement with formula. The baby will be fine with that, I promise. I mean, what is the alternative?
Not feeding the baby? Duh, no. Or, for example, my bottle propping. It would be silly for me not to bottle prop for the sake of
"saying I didn't prop". That's just silly. If you think it's wrong or unsafe, hey, that's another thing. But personally, I'm all about being sane. (And I don't think it's unsafe). It's ok to do things that are convenient and make things easier for yourself. The more relaxed and comfortable you are with yourself, the more you will be relaxed and present for your kids. And the little ones can tell if you're not doing or feeling good. They can sense it, FOR SURE! In general, I have found, if you are a little more open to things then you won't be so disappointed if your perfect plan for your child and your life and their life changes. Because I promise you, you cannot plan these things. So, we gotta stop trying so hard to plan life. Yes, I said that. This coming from the biggest
Choleric planner on the planet.
Wondering if I should be letting him eat hummus with a spoon...
3. This one should have been number one.
All women, and all mom's are insecure. So when you see that other mom who you always feel like has everything together... let me guarantee you, she doesn't. If you're reading a blog, facebook or just talking on the phone or even in person and she says life is perfect, her kids are perfect and her marriage is perfect. She is not being completely honest. We don't have to air our dirty laundry and by NO MEANS am I saying if you're a mom you're unhappy, dissatisfied or life just sucks. I'm just saying, we
all have good days and we
all have bad days. In general we can and
should be happy and satisfied in life, but nothing and no one is perfect. Kids are kids. We all have frustrating times, tiring times and all that. Someone tell me I'm making sense! I know for a fact it's not just me who feels this way.
4.
Don't compare yourself to others. Don't compare your kids to other kids. Every person and every child is unique. God made us that way. I can be bad about this one. I find that I'm always thinking about how rambunctious Matteo is and how calm some other kids are who are the same age. No good will come from that. Also, developmentally, all kids grow and develop at different rates. There is no point in freaking yourself out about whether or not your kid is on track. (I mean, if there is a bigger problem that needs attention that's another thing). Also, since all kids are different, what works for one kiddo might not work for the next. From the type of bottles you use to the type of discipline. Just sayin'!
Matteo yelling "no!" at me. Awesome.
5.
Listen to other moms, especially your own mom and
even your mother-in-law. Yes, I said it. They raised kids who turned out good, because their kids turned out to be
you and
your darling husband. They
might, just might have something to offer. Everything now with babies seems like such a fad. But, babies are still babies, just like they were babies when we were born and we were babies. (Got that?) True, some research over the years has brought new information to light. But taking that into consideration, don't fall into the trap of baby fads. I'm all about making things easy and simple.
By sharing these things with you I hope to have offered some form of encouragement!? At least I encouraged
myself and reminded myself of things that I'm
always needing to be reminded of!
What things have you learned about motherhood?